It’s getting late in the game, I know, but choosing a veep for this sheep is not done on the cheap! After much deliberation between myself and my close advisors, the decision is made. The answer was in front of us the whole time. Not Moonpie. Not Penguino. But an old friend. One who needs little introduction. A trusty compadre that has never let me down.
Yes, the one and only. Bacon has been there for Meep for many, many years and Bacon will be there for Meep for many, many more. Bacon has been there for us all, if I’m not mistaken.
Foreign Affairs – Bacon is the international language.
Energy – Did you know that Hormel made a motorcycle fueled by bacon?
Youth Fitness – Bacon does have health benefits, but everything in moderation of course!
Mass Transit – Which would you favor? Bus exhaust that smells of gasoline or bacon? Checkmate.
Defense – If the elderly can harness the power of bacon against the forces of evil, just imagine the possibilities.
Join me in welcoming Bacon to our campaign!
(makes a nice bumper sticker, no?)
A busy year has passed while this sheep scoped out the competition. I even had a chance to talk with one candidate who admired my campaign and wanted me on their Veep waiting list. Unfortunately, that is not to be so this sheep’s journey continues. This race is proving to be more interesting than Cannonball Run II!
My next prospect is a bird with polarizing views on some of the hot topics. He has said as Veep that he will fight for the common folk, no matter how fowl. He will keep an eye out for the little birds, sheep, cats, people… all the things!
Foreign Affairs – He is from the most far away place compared to everyone else. He’s seen a lot of stuff.
Energy – He understands the needs of the people with all of their toys and whatchamacallits, yet he knows we can go too far and must find balance in the Force.
Youth Fitness – A little more waddling couldn’t hurt, ya know!
Mass Transit – Tobogganing can only take you so far. Bring on the zooms to bring us uphill for another go!
Defense – He understands the necessity and wants the world’s oceans safe for migratory vacation plans.
An interesting specimen indeed. Take care, my friends, and keep those campaign [bacon] donations coming.